EVERYDAY MENTOR

Andrew Gray

Hello Reader

Welcome!

If you are new here, I want to take a moment to highlight what this newsletter is ALL about. Even if you have been here since the start, another reminder cannot hurt . . .

My writing to you in this newsletter is all about empowering you to understand, pursue and retain "Inner-Life Health & Sustainability"

Healthy on the inside (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally) means healthy on the outside. The fruit is dependant on the root.

Our privilege in life, and indeed our greatest challenge, is to grow and sustain a healthy Inner-Life. If we can achieve this (even to some degree), our God-given gifts and abilities will 'stay in the game' and go to work for us, making a path for us to travel on.

Let's go counter culture. Let's ignore the common pattern of sculpting beautifully pretend masks. Let's pursue true life and real health, which all begins on the inside.

"The Everything Lie"

What is 'The Everything Lie'?

It's all around us. Every day. It's on our screens. It's in our friendship groups. It's at our work places.

It's calling to us in our thoughts, hopes and dreams. But have we become so familiar with this sweet seduction that we barely even notice anymore?

'The Everything Lie' is that delightfully sounding, seems 'too good to be true' promise that tries to convince us we can have everything we want in life.

Lots of money - You can have it. The perfect partner - You can have it. The greatest job - You can have it. Houses, Cars & Boats - You can have it. Endless luxury travel - You can have it.

Now, before I am misunderstood, let me state it clearly . . . I believe in goal setting. I believe in achieving progress in life. In fact, I live accordingly. However, goals and progress (in healthy moderation) are not the nucleus of our conversation here today.

Certainly not, what is in focus here today, is a far more nuanced, insidious and deceitful notion that has taken up 'squatters rights' in our thinking, and lens on life.

You see, the 'double whammy' of 'the everything lie' is this . . .

Firstly, that you can have anything and everything you ever wanted.

Secondly, and perhaps even more destructively the false correlation forcefully foisted upon us that 'If we just had abc, it would make us xyz'

"If you could just secure that job, then you'll have the self-respect you long for"

"If you could just buy that car, then everyone will know you've finally made it"

"If you could just experience those travel dreams, then your life would be free of anxiety forever"

"if you could just win that lottery prize, then you would be so happy forever"

These things lure us with the false promise, that if we had them, it would make our life complete. We are seduced, deceived and mislead so easily because we ache so often (you should read that sentence again).

We give our hearts to the objects of these false promises, pursue them with commitment and obsession, and in so doing, we sever ties with the real needs of our heart. We compromise our own existence in the name of cheap and false substitutes.

Without question, the emergence of smarter and faster technologies, including social media, have deepened our epidemic state, living like an addict on every micro-hit of dopamine release, clutching at false hope.

We have wrongly concluded because we can see the whole world, therefore we can have the whole world. Our senses are bombarded with images and stories of 'countless' others who have apparently arrived at the peak, living their best rich life, as they play out their pitiful bit-part in this pantomime of pretend success.

And yet within, lives a flicker of prudence and sound thinking whispering to us that 'surely it seems too good to be true' 'just because of riches and fame, surely they are not the happiest of us all'

We are the wisest among multitudes to heed this cynical voice on the inside.

For behind the opaque veil of superficial satisfaction, hides a frightening reality.

Truth be told, our greatest life is not secured by 'having it all'

In fact, having more is only capable of ensuring one outcome, and that is to make us more of who we already were (read that again).

The selfish, the mean, the nasty and unkind. The insecure, the ungrateful and the entitled, simply become exponential versions of themselves in possession of material wealth and success.

The opposite is also true - The generous. The kind. The grateful and humble surge forward in possession of material wealth, and the world is better for it.

You see, external life existing as a direct extension of internal life is a principle undefeated!

"The Everything Lie" has two major fundamental problems;

It's actually not possible because 'everything' is infinite. There is no end game. No finish line to everything, because everything keeps on expanding. The pursuit of the 'Everything Life' is an appetite insatiable.
Even if it were possible, it still wouldn't satisfy the ache in our soul. What manner of horror to 'finally ascend the mountain' of the falsely portrayed 'Everything Life' and there discover that the original, unsatisfied, unsettled, unhappy you is also there with you. The soul-shaking revelation in that moment to realise that what you seek actually lives and resolves on the inside, is a shockwave nigh impossible to survive.

The true fruits of "The Everything Lie" are these;

Anxiety
Depression
Ingratitude
Entitlement
Self-indulgence
Isolation
Consumption overload
Shallow character

(Somebody wisely once said "Money and resources can only fix money and resource problems) (Think on that for a moment)

I'm not suggesting that you or I become newly minted members of the minimalist movement (unless of course you already are, or think that may actually be good for you).

What I am saying is . . . Learn to love boundaries. Set them. Protect them. Love them. If you do, I guarantee greater joy, peace and contentment.

Here is a liberating and transformative truth you will rarely hear broadcast . . .

"We live our best lives inside clearly defined and pleasant boundaries"

When you seize the courage to say "I don't want everything in life" your soul will breathe a sigh of relief comparable to the sweet relief felt when setting down a heavy backpack at the end of a long hike. Serenity!

To reject 'the everything lie' and embrace the sweetness of simple, customised, pleasant boundaries is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

Yes, it's true. I'm actually urging you to seek and embrace a life with limitations. Healthy limitations. Appropriate limitations.

I'm urging you. I'm encouraging you. Allow your soul to splash in the cool waters of arrival from time to time.

In the words of one of my all time favourite song writers . . .

"Twice as much ain't twice as good. And can't sustain like one half could. It's wanting more that's gonna send me to my knees"

Everyday Mentor Vision 2025

I have exciting growth plans in 2025, including;

An increasing presence on TikTok (follow link below)
An increasing presence on X (follow link below)
An increasing presence on Instagram (follow link below)
Launch of Everyday Mentor YouTube channel (subscribe link below)
Launch of new membership only opportunities designed to provide you with customised and strategic help with your Inner Life health goals

If you enjoy the thoughts I share each week, and you are on these platforms, could you please follow, and share content. Thanks!