EVERYDAY MENTOR

Andrew Gray

Hello Reader

If you are new here, allow me to highlight what this newsletter is ALL about.

This newsletter is all about empowering you to understand, pursue and retain "Inner-Life Health & Sustainability"

Healthy on the inside (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally) means healthy on the outside. The fruit is dependant on the root.

Let's ignore the common pattern of sculpting beautifully pretend masks. Let's pursue true life and real health, which all begins on the inside.

"Surviving Disappointment"

Let's be honest, disappointment is a heavy cross to bear.

I know I've had my fair share. I have experienced disappointment in family, friendship and business. Heck I've experienced vast quantities of disappointment in myself!

Some disappointments are more consequential than others. For example the betrayal trauma inflicted when a loved one turns their back on you is far greater than someone who writes a nasty comment on your Instagram post. You get the picture!

Because we are all shaped uniquely, we respond to disappointment in a unique way also.

Some people are more resilient in the face of disappointment than others. It's complicated and not easy to understand the reason for this.

Some other people really struggle with most disappointments and the pain becomes almost unbearable for them.

It's difficult to ascertain how the challenges in a person's past will impact their current capacity to endure disappointment.

Despite our individual differences, two things are true to us all;

The impact on our Soul is immediate (especially our mental health)
We need a strategic approach to know how to process the challenge

I want to share with you a 7 step plan that I have developed for myself over a long period of time, to help survive disappointment, and to make it through to the other side in a healthy state. Here we go;

Step Back - You need to slow things down and breathe. The worst decisions are made, and worst conclusions reached, in a state of heightened emotion. Say to yourself "I will get through this somehow, but I need to take the pressure off my shoulders. I do not have to navigate this alone or in a hurry"
Contrast the Significance - Take a moment to ask yourself "How big is this disappointment really, in the grand scheme of life, and in light of where I am trying to go in life?" Sometimes in our panic we add catastrophe to our disappointment, exponentially amplifying our perspective on the situation. If possible, take the heat out of things by acknowledging that it may not be as dramatic as you first thought. Contrarily, if it is a big deal, give yourself permission to say so, and begin to step through diligently with appropriate responses.
Reflect - Take a moment to remember the many other past disappointments you have survived in life, and realise you're probably stronger than you feel in that moment. Remind yourself 'I got through tough times in the past. I can do it again"
Talk - Sharing your disappointment with a trusted listener is one of the most effective ways to release the pressure valve that builds up on the inside. On most occasions we don't need a person to solve our problems immediately. We need someone who will listen with care and compassionately support us. Find that person!
Mental Health Awareness - Disappointment can send our mental health plummeting. It's important to set benchmarks and plan ahead. Your will power is one of the greatest evaluation tools you have. When you struggle to engage your will for normal every day activities, it is indicating a low soul tank that requires re-fuelling. Be sure to plan activity that helps you to engage recreate mode. It's called recreation for a reason. Keep life and your diary simple in this season. Extra clutter is not your friend right now. Be mindful of essential health basics. Good food. Good sleep. Good movement outdoors.
The Golden Rule - Don't force it. Don't fight it. When your disappointment is felt, don't fight it. You're allowed to feel disappointment. Don't shut it down, your soul is processing. On the other hand, when disappointment is not overly noticeable, don't manufacture negative emotions that you convince yourself you 'should' be feeling.
Scar Tissue - Accept the reality that after surviving disappointment, there will likely be scar tissue. Time does not automatically heal anything. Time with a wise strategy can help healing. However, time will not allow you to fully forget. This journey leaves us with our share of scars. What matters is that under our scars we leave no infection of bitterness and unforgiveness. Scar tissue is by nature, sensitive to the touch. Be mindful of this and be kind in regards to your past. Our scars form our stories, and our stories tell the world that we are survivors.

Everyday Mentor in 2025

Exciting things ahead in 2025, including;

Launch of Everyday Mentor YouTube channel coming soon!
A return to the Medium platform where my best articles can be found
Launch of new membership only opportunities designed to provide you with customised and strategic help with your Inner Life health goals

If you enjoy the thoughts I share each week, and you are on these platforms, could you please follow, and share content. Thanks!