Hello Reader
Today is the start of a very important 3 part series of connected articles. These articles contain truths that form the backbone of everything I do when I work with people 1 on 1 to make progress towards their goals. It's really important stuff!
What I will begin sharing today are concepts that you are going to hear about regularly over the coming weeks and months.
Let's get to it . . .
"Get Unstuck"
Have you ever felt stuck, or trapped? Perhaps you've felt claustrophobic in a small space? Or, maybe you've had that nagging feeling that your life just isn't progressing in any measurable way.
It's a horrible, tormenting feeling when life feels like that.
Perhaps you can relate somehow . . .
I remember many years ago when a friend invited me to join him in competing in the tough-mudder obstacle course event, nearby where we live.
If you haven't heard of these events, they're basically a running trail course with a series of 'next level' obstacles that you must conquer in order to complete the course.
Around that time, I was heavily into Ironman triathlon, and so I knew I wouldn't have any trouble with the fitness required to complete the course.
I thought it might be an interesting way to add some variety to my training regime . . . however, there was a problem!
On closer inspection of the course map, I discovered the presence of one particular obstacle that made me feel sick just thinking about it. The TUNNEL!
The tunnel obstacle is a long canvas shoot, approximately 20m long laid on the ground that you have to crawl through.
The inside of the tunnel has to be pushed open with your hands in order to fit through as you are crawling. The problem is that the entire time you are inside the tunnel, the canvas collapses in front of you and behind you, so it is always dark and enclosed.
The even bigger problem however, as you can probably imagine, is that with so many competitors in the event, unless you are running in first place or last place, there are always people right in front of you, and right behind you inside the tunnel.
This is fine if they all keep moving. But they don't!
In fact, it's common place for competitors inside the tunnel to get fatigued, struggle for oxygen to breathe, or even start having a panic attack and freeze in place.
The thought of getting stuck inside the tunnel, behind someone who is stuck inside the tunnel, is what my worst nightmares are made of.
You see, I'm not ashamed to say, I'm pretty claustrophobic at the best of times, let alone when there is a possibility of getting stuck inside a tunnel with no way to move forwards or backwards.
I'll let you guess whether or not I ended up competing in that event.
Sometimes our life can feel a bit like being trapped inside the tunnel at an obstacle course. Can't go forward. Can't go back. Horrible!!!
If you feel like this, or know someone who does, I want to help you!
Hopefully you know by now, I am passionate about helping people get unstuck in their life. I sometimes describe it with these phrases "helping unlock people" or "helping people to unravel their knots"
For some reason, I have been gifted with an unusually high-level capacity for helping people achieve this transformative outcome.
It's now my passion in life to help as many people as I can. That's why I'm writing specifically about the concept of 'Getting Unstuck'
In fact, as I have mentioned, this article is the first in a series of three connected articles. This is by deliberate design.
I have observed in nearly all people, a normal desire for an upgraded life. There is nothing wrong with this ambition. It's a good thing.
Some people desire an upgraded vocational life, or an upgraded relational life, or an upgrade to their holistic health.
Whatever the goal is, it's important to understand that there is a process involved.
So many people try to get 'upgraded' by beginning with an attempt to get upgraded.
This is the wrong approach and usually fails. When repeated, these failures lead to frustration, and eventually giving up and settling for a sub-standard level of living life is the result.
However, the reason most people fail to experience upgrade is not because they aren't capable. Not at all. It's usually because they fail to understand there is a necessary process to engage with.
You see, Upgrade is preceded by Personal Growth.
If you want to get Upgraded, you have to get Growing.
Personal Growth is preceded by Getting Unstuck.
If you want to Get Growing, you first have to Get Unstuck.
Get Unstuck > Get Growing > Get Upgraded
Let's get the process started.
Let's help you understand the nature of getting unstuck!
The most important concept to embrace when we are starting to understand getting stuck, is that it is nearly always connected to our past.
In particular, the connection is to past events and past relationships.
This is important to remember!
Unfortunately (depending on perspective) life is a journey of ups AND downs. The ups are awesome. The downs always seem to hit us at the least opportune time.
We suffer damage, setback and disappointment in these moments.
How we perceive and respond to these moments is crucial in determining whether or not we get stuck in those same experiences.
The biggest problem most people face in life's tough 'moments' is that they were not pre-warned to expect them (so they come as a complete shock), and they are not given the tools to cope, when it inevitably happens to them.
This creates a compounded inability to understand, process and recover from what takes place.
The flow on effect of this is that 'unravelling' these moments later in life is always more complex and often more painful.
Nevertheless it is possible. How do I know? Because I have literally helped thousands of people to successfully walk through this exact process.
Some of the most common ways/experiences that I observe people getting stuck on their journey of life are;
- The trauma of family break down when they are a child
- Being the victim of some form of abuse (sexual, violence, verbal etc)
- Betrayal trauma inflicted by a once trusted relationship
- Suffering a long pattern of disappointment in circumstances
- Long term financial struggles in family history
- Struggles with substance addiction personally or in family history
- Suffering heart-break when an intimate relationship fails
- Deep grief associated with the death of a loved one (especially unexpected death)
- Getting stuck in a loop of poor mental health resulting in long term depression and anxiety
- Plus various other examples
You may be able to relate to one or more of these experiences.
As painful as it can be, it's useful to take a moment to consider how these experiences have likely contributed to your sense of being stuck in life.
Are you able to see the connection?
What matters most, is what can you do about getting unstuck?
Whilst the actual process of getting a person unstuck does begin with understanding fundamental principles, the achievement of individual results that last, require application in a personalised context.
However, we can at least get the ball rolling in a preliminary manner for those who recognise they need help in this regard.
The basic principles of getting unstuck, in sequence, look like this;
- You must recognise and admit to yourself that you ARE stuck. Some people get stuck on admitting that they are stuck. Obviously no progress can be achieved from this position of denial
- You need help to identify WHAT got you stuck in the first place. Getting stuck is never a mystery. It might seem like one, especially when you are long-term stuck. But it's not. There are always reasons.
- Skill is required to walk you through the process of understanding WHY and HOW you got stuck when you did. This stage gets complicated, because as humans, we are complicated. The nature of how historical events in our life become deeply intertwined in our soul and cause us to become stuck, can be a confusing science. However, understanding the nature of these nuances is essential to unravelling your knots, and bringing you into the present so you can start growing again.
- You need to be empowered with new tools that will allow you to STAY unstuck, and not return to the matters of the past that got you bogged down to begin with. These tools are specific, unique, learnable and transferrable. Further than that, they are compulsory for anyone wishing to move forward in life.
- Having gotten unstuck, and being empowered to stay that way, it is time to lay the foundation upon which the stage 2 growth fundamentals will be built. This is a clearly defined and staged process that anyone with a willingness to learn can be helped to achieve.
I cannot under-estimate the importance of getting skilled, experienced and proven help to achieve the process above. It rarely happens without it!
I suppose theoretically it might be possible to get unstuck on your own, however, I have not personally seen this achieved one single time over the past 27 years of expertise in this space.
In fact, what I see more often is the opposite.
The harder people try in isolation, the more stuck they become.
It's like watching a stubborn person drown in quicksand. They keep on rejecting your outstretched hand as they sink deeper into oblivion.
It's sad and painful to watch. Please don't be that person. I'm begging you!
Please take a moment to let me know where you're at, so I can better tailor my resources to help you . . .
| Where are you on the journey of wanting to "Get Unstuck" in life? |
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For those who selected Option 3 or 4 - In the 2nd half of this year, I will be launching a new program that will provide an opportunity to work directly with me on the goal of "Getting Unstuck > Getting growing > Getting Upgraded"
More information regarding this opportunity coming soon!
Next week . . . "Get Growing"
I am here to help you.
Please reach out any time by replying to this email.
Best Regards Always!
Andrew